Traffic Light Conspiracy

Traffic Light Conspiracy (mp3)

Alex Jones rambles about new world order… Obama’s DOJ personally verified that the people of Wisconsin support their governor who was re-confirmed, Tuesday… But, for all the hype, I never hear about the greatest hand of evil in the world today: traffic lights.

Think about it…

We hate it when we call customer service and are told to “press one for English”… but the traffic light doesn’t let you press anything. You just have to sit there until it re-routs you.

Religious leaders will tell you to obey the light bulb—applying Jesus’ Command to “love your neighbor” to a set of electronics. Better not offend the Holy Light Bulb.

Policemen have authority to tell drivers to ignore the light bulbs. But too many officers camp next to quiet intersections, making sure you don’t disobey the bulb. I’ve always wondered: If a policeman has the time to sit an an intersection, shouldn’t he be directing traffic to make it operate more smoothly? It kinda’ makes a lot of tickets hard to hold up in court, don’t you think? I mean, if you run a red light, don’t cause an accident, and an officer gives you a ticket, he proves that he was there, but not governing the intersection like the public interest calls him to. He’d certify himself “irresponsible” as a cop.

And what about these cameras that snap your license plate as you harmlessly squeeze through an orange light? If an officer were controlling the intersection, he’d cut off the traffic flow more appropriately, and without reprisal. So, if we have technology put into traffic light bulbs, shouldn’t that technology put the first focus on making traffic flow better, rather than playing “Gotcha”? Admittedly, some cities actually do that, like Big Rapids, Michigan. Bravo! But, they haven’t helped motorcyclists—who, under vehicular discrimination from the automated sensors, neither get the same rights of a Prius nor of a light bulb.

Then there’s the whole carbon credit factor. How much extra fuel is consumed, unnecessarily sitting at traffic light bulbs? Shouldn’t local governments buy carbon credits for each traffic light bulb they hoist above the road?

And how much energy do the lights themselves consume? If the little mercury, curly-q light bulbs for our homes are “so wonderful”, then why aren’t they replacing the bulbs used to tell us what to do with our cars? Shouldn’t we want the “best in bulbs” with all the good that light trafficking does at intersections?

Then there’s the whole theological question. With preachers telling us that Jesus will be angry if we don’t pay brotherly respect to the colors of the lights, doesn’t that affect our view of God? If God truly does expect us to “obey the bulbs”, then “God’s rules” must be arbitrary, foolish, lazy, harmful, costly, cold, unscrupulous, and oppose critical thinking skills. No wonder so many people these days don’t want to obey “God’s commands”. We actually think God is more pleased with us by obeying a stupid set of light bulbs.

Then there’s the whole “public view of government” discussion. If “obeying the lights” and “obeying the police” are equated, then, of course, people won’t have respect for the law. Maybe police would be treated like humans, rather than robots, were it not for our intersections being managed like automated customer service.

And, finally, there’s the “personal responsibility” issue. Youth are brainwashed to think that “road safety” comes from obeying a light bulb, against all logic, when an intersection is clear and safe. “You can’t run that red light, even with no traffic in sight. You’re too stupid to make that that decision on your own, after all. Just obey the lights and stop thinking for yourself!” No wonder the roads are so dangerous and youth are so irresponsible.

So, thanks, Wisconsin and Alex Jones, for all your good intentions, but I’ll take you more seriously when you “shed some light” on the foolish short-circuitry, suspiciously hidden in plain sight.

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