Dealing with messed up people is hard. These days it’s more exhausting because so many people are messed up. It started when the nuclear family blew up after Lyndon Johnson’s so-called “Great Society” created slums out of ghettos. It’s funny how that grand failure became both an argument against and for government-funded housing. Those outside see the problem. Those in the problem think its normal; it literally is. It’s like dealing with an addict. Often times it literally is.
The only way to help each other is through: patience, allowing failure, preventing disaster, and not inventing rules in God’s name. · · · →
Living a life as desired by other people can’t get you very far. In essence, it makes one fake. The only benefit is short term gain.
When you don’t have much attention, speaking your mind can offend what few people you know. But, given enough time and voice to whatever you think, word will spread—especially from that free press you get from dissidents. The people who want you as you are will only find you if you be yourself and speak yourself loud enough, long enough. But who are you really? You are whomever you remain after fierce objection. · · · →
When you make a mistake, you know it and you regret it. You don’t always apologize right away, if ever. You want to know how to do better without being told to want to do better. After all, you didn’t make the mistake from lack of lecturing. You made the mistake from some combination of your own folly and your own inexperience. The less the folly, the less painful the mistakes. But, we all must make some amount of mistakes.
Do you think others are different? Do you think others don’t silently regret their mistakes? They do. So, encourage them. · · · →
Laws, rules, management, parenting, and mentoring—all follow the same laws of physics. Every action has a reaction that is both equal and opposite. This is the challenge: Leaders can’t make the rules, but only coach by them.
If a leader forbids an activity, some part of that activity is immutable and will reappear at another place, one the leader would not imagine. If the leader had enough insight to guess where it will reappear, then the leader wouldn’t forbid the activity in the first place. Leaders who reject the immutable push water in a pond and call it progress. · · · →