Overtalking is unfriendly. It’s something we each know we should never do, but it’s something we each do anyway. Why? It’s not as if others need our many words or our self-expression. Inadvertently dominating relationships by unplanned filibuster isn’t exactly the best way to win friends and influence people. So, why do we do so much of it?
Deep inside, it probably comes down to a love issue or a self-acceptance issue. We somehow fear rejection or dejection or ejection, so we want someone to validate our coordinates and status. But, others want the same thing, which we can give. · · · →
There is a good reason Jesus commanded us to love our enemies. That reason specifically relates to how much it isn’t easy. If it were easy to love enemies, Jesus wouldn’t have needed to make it a command. But, it isn’t, so he did. And, most of us have a better idea.
Jesus’s command wasn’t enough for most of us, especially those who think they believe Jesus and thus think they define truth and so justify their grudges. But, when someone else tells us to return kindness for insult, we listen and often discover that enemies can become excellent friends. · · · →
Conflicts between most people are a battle of elements. Fire wants drive without empathy, water wants empathy without drive. Of course, the needs are the needs and don’t change, but we all have our corners we feel some need to emphasize. When the other guy doesn’t focus on the angle we zero in on, we blame him of being unethical—either he doesn’t care about people or he doesn’t care about results.
These differences are only a conflict during immaturity. We weren’t meant to fight against each other; we were meant to lean against each other. That is growing up. · · · →
College was my first exposure to American Black culture. I’m a far better man for it. Moody was less than a block from Cabrini Green. I taught Pierre how to swim and he taught me how to forgive. My room mate, Ronnie, was president of African Awareness Fellowship. Three years, he tried to tell me that the problem was with “the system”. “It’s the system, Jesse. It’s hidden in the system. I know you don’t see it. But, I see it every day.” I listened, but I still couldn’t see.
Ten years in Taiwan opened my eyes. Ronnie, I’ve seen it. I haven’t just heard about it, I’ve finally seen it with my own eyes. Others don’t see it, especially if they’re part of it. I’ve seen that too.
If a man thinks his unjust actions are acceptable, there is no way to tell him that he is unjust in a way he will find acceptable. · · · →