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Marshall Rosenberg called it “jackal language”; Satir called it “blamer mode”. Whatever flavor you like to call it—using negative descriptions, declaring one-word final opinions about the person arguing with you, and saying things like “you always/never…” isn’t smart if your goal is peace.

But in that, there’s another pattern we often miss: “verbal cannonballs” or “barking”. When we’re unhappy, we tend to add words like “anyway” or start sentences with “well”. We don’t normally do this, only when feeling “barky”. When words add no more meaning than a bark, they should be classified as “barking”, more specifically, “jackal barking”.  · · · →

Not everybody grows up when they grow up. None of us mature the moment we get wise counsel. But, the wise among us can plant “wisdom seeds” of a happy life.

Don’t hate or fret over the idiots in your life. In some sense, you’ve been that idiot before and you probably will be again. Rather, take your frustration with other people’s immaturity to a constructive venue: keep planting wisdom seeds and keep dripping water on those seeds.

Adults are brats because the adults in their lives didn’t drip wisdom. You be their adult and they just might grow up.  · · · →

Once the city gets built, residents easily loose the conscience that built their city.

Projects yield good results because of wisdom, tough decisions, doing things that aren’t popular everywhere, even paying above market value, firing friends, and hiring enemies, all because of the quality of work that will get done. But, after the hard work, hard thinking, and hard choices become history, human tendency is to take the yield for granted.

Pile that into urban populations with infrastructure and real estate unsustainable without farmlands. Understandably, urban populations favor public spending. But, it’s big money, not bankrupt government, that spends big.  · · · →

Backing down is not the same thing as being sweet and charming. Friendliness includes pushing forward, leaning on slow doors until they open.

Reject the lie that nice guys have to finish last. Actually, nice guys finish first so they can take the trophy home to their loved ones who supported them—and put up with them—through all the difficult training necessary to win.

Nothing gets done without turbulence. Races require sweat. Construction requires demolition and dust. Even trees break up the ground as they spread roots. Life grows better if you’re sweet, but winning makes your sweetness worthwhile.  · · · →