Showing all posts in The Point

When someone is determined to self-destruct, don’t watch with anger; watch with love.

Of course, sometimes people won’t hear advice—they won’t listen, they won’t accept warnings, they can’t heed to save their own lives. It is as if they want to force everyone else to watch them self-destruct. Some of us grow up to the point where we are willing to throw up our hands and not interfere. But, most of us only grow up enough to let go with resentment. That’s not enough either. We must let other people fall because we love them, not because we don’t.  · · · →

Taking surprises is connected to patience. Rolling with punches means being fluid—something patience requires. Things never happen how we expect; if they do then we should be suspicious. Navigating life means going with the flow. If you can’t learn that, you’ll want to give up. If you can, then you will see every surprise as an opportunity to become more fluid. And, being fluid is its own reward.

You know the feeling of being on a calm ocean or a beach or a high overlook in nature. If you can be fluid, then you can become that calmness yourself.  · · · →

Conversation can be good. Teaching can be good. Learning can be good. Stillness in our time alone can be good. But, shared silence can also be good.

If silence is golden, shared silence is platinum. We have a need to be with other people and for silence. Putting the two together—to enjoy mutual silence—is part of what it means to “just be with” people. No relationship has any constant need to teach, antagonize, energize, encourage, or even support—except that relationships require being with someone. The “be with” part is the only constant. Sometimes, practice just that part.  · · · →

Trust is difficult. Once trust is broken, it can be nearly impossible to learn to trust again. This opens up two challenges: knowing how to deal with people who refuse to trust and knowing who it actually was who truly, really, broke trust in the first place.

On the matter of dealing with someone with trust issues, it’s best to not compound the problem. Even the smallest thing can trigger an avalanche of self-justification for why that person shouldn’t trust you. Patience is your best bet. On relearning trust, admitting the challenge and accepting friendship are the first two steps.  · · · →